Journal
Impactful Week
9/7/2008
A very interesting week seems to be culminating today. I should say my brain is a bit cloudy today since my eyes didn’t shut until 4 AM last night. My driver’s license says I am getting older, but I seem to forget about that sometimes and let the night owl in me prevail over reason.
Tuesday provided an unexpected jolt. My inbox popped up with a new message from my ex-girlfriend. We don’t see each other or talk much, but we email from time to time. I think we both would say we are on good terms. So that means emails or phone calls do not provide any ill feelings or anything like that. Still, she is a person who I let my guard somewhat down with, so she has a special place. If I wasn’t so focused on me and the road of life, she might still be my girlfriend.
Anyway, it had been months since we communicated about anything of major relevance and she took me by surprise. She said she got a job offer in Cincinnati and she took it. She sold her house (in a day) and she was moving in two weeks. I was a bit startled at the feeling I had in my stomach upon reading the message. I was excited for her and her new opportunity. She deserves it and then some. But for some reason I felt jealous because she got an opportunity and I’m still waiting on the one I want. I also felt lonely. So that was Tuesday.
Wednesday was September 3. That day is always strange for me. It is the anniversary of my right hand man from high school’s death. As the people planning our reunion have reminded me, this is our 15th year out of high school. That also means the 3rd was the 15th anniversary of his passing. I still remember many of the details vividly.
I was 18 and in Arkansas for my first semester of college. I didn’t know anyone but my older brother. I had been there a week or two when the phone rang. It was my friend from home, Matt.
“Did you hear?” he asked.
I hadn’t. “About what?”
“About A.”
“What about him? What did he do now? Who did he beat up or piss off?” I said.
There was a pause. His tone changed into a more of a whisper. “He shot himself…”
And I was done. I can still see the images after he said those words and I had time to comprehend them. My vantage point shot me to the top corner of my dorm room. My roommate was reading on the top bunk bed. I was on the phone, crying my eyes out trying to figure out what in the world was happening. It was like a movie except it was real.
He was in a coma for a few days. I didn’t go home until the funeral. I was a mess for a long time. Grief is tough. Grief with suicide is tougher.
So the 3rd is hard on me. Sadly, my crew and I, we don’t talk about it much anymore. Not one of us called each other or emailed each other that day or this week. Time heals, but the scars are still there.
Also, Wednesday (the 3rd) was my first class of the semester teaching Business Communication at St. John Fisher College. So yes, you can call me Professor Harrison. The class seems to be a good one. It makes me wonder how my students from last semester are doing. I communicate with a few of them.
And then last night was the going away party for my boy Picciotti. He is the guy who helped me with the video that is currently playing on the main IamOntheRoad page. For years he has talked about wanting to do something. Now he is making it happen. We all got together last night at one of our friend’s house. There was a lot of laughs, stories and intensity. He is moving to Los Angeles this week. He is going to take his talent, drive and skills into the video production business. He may be behind the camera, working the lights, or editing the footage, but sooner than later, something we all will watch on TV or in a movie theatre will have his fingerprint on it.
Again, I am incredibly pumped for him and his new road. I am jealous I can’t make the cross country drive with him. I now have responsibilities to people besides me. That is good and bad. My ex taking off for new horizons and Picciotti living his dream is what IamOntheRoad is all about: Knowing what you want to do and then doing it. They are exerting control over their 84,000 Hours.
This week has had a strong impact on me. If you have a dream, you’ve got to do what you can to make it happen. The road is not a short or easy one. The vision may take years to come to fruition, but if you are continuously chipping away towards the vision, it will be years well spent.
Good luck to my two new road warriors. I know there will be good things to come…
Rest in Peace.