Journal
I'm back
12/13/2008
Charlotte, NC
It is strange to be back in Charlotte. And it is weird how the mind works. In a sense, I grew into a man here. In a sense, I sometimes wonder if I ran from being a man here. I am sitting in my cousin Colin’s house. I lived with him and his wife (in a different house) when I first moved to Charlotte. They now have two little girls.
I stayed at my old roommate’s house last night. He and his wife have three kids now. Another part of the crew has a new baby. And so do two other couples. Life has pressed on without me here. That does not mean I am not missed, but it is strange when we go away and come back. People do their thing and you do yours. Then you reconvene. It is great to see people and catch up.
So I am back in my city. It has continued to grow and spread out. Places that were parking lots are now high rises. Places that were fields are now housing developments. The beat of growth is there, different than that of upstate NY. Yet, the uneasiness the country feels is here as well. The banking industry was Charlotte’s lifeblood. The front page of today's paper flashed the headline: “B of A to cut 35,000 jobs.” All of those jobs are not in Charlotte, but some of them are. The economic weirdness is hitting everywhere.
This was a short notice trip with a short amount of time to catch up. I called some who were out of town. I saw some. And I didn’t even have time to call others.
My brain works in weird ways. I left my life in Charlotte to go On the Road. It was an amazing, inspiring, life changing experience. Yet, my mind still blends back to what could have been if I had stayed. I think the book process has hurt my mojo. I think that is why I’ve been resistant to coming back. I don’t feel as good as I should about what I’ve done and what I’ve been doing. The writing, speaking, teaching, and innovating.
For someone who is an author and motivational speaker, maybe I am not supposed to have these thoughts. Then again, maybe those thoughts are why me and my interviewees are supposed to help people battle through their own second guessing.
I guess it is all about perspective. Many of my friends I’ve caught up with ask for stories about what I am doing and talk about the coolness of it all. And it is true. I guess I need to live the book and interview advice. Trust the process and enjoy the journey.
Enough reflection. I have people to see.